So it is quite likely that nobody reads this blog anymore but that is not enough to stop me from writing.
I have been M.I.A because my life has been a series of very unfortunate decisions/events. I have lost everything except for my health and with all the stress I am feel I'm expecting to lose that any day now as well.
Dramatic? Nope, not this time.
I am honestly losing my mind. Every decision I have made has ruined my life further and if I could go back in time to approximately 7.5 years ago the first thing I would do is ignore my dear friend who talked me into going on the date with the guy that I was completely uninterested in in the first place.
Life never seems so bad when you have somebody by your side but when that person is toxic everything gets that much harder. So leave, right? Well, love is a hairy bitch that will f*ck up your life. The heart is pure evil and even when all the love you have ruining through your veins turns to poison your stupid heart will not let you walk away.
If I get outta of this relationship I will never be stupid enough to fall in love again. It is honestly the stupidest and most self-deprecating thing anybody could do.
In addition to me hating love, I am homeless (kinda), still unemployed, and 10-15 pounds heavier. Worst of all things are looking very hopeless because all my decisions have gotten me tangled into such a web that I can't make a move. I hate EVERYTHING!!! Hopefully my life will turn around or end soon but in the mean time I am losing my whole entire mind.
I want cupcakes covered in cream cheese frosting please and thank you!
I joined a gym last Wednesday. I need to tighten up for Barbados. Unfortunately I lack any kind of "sitck-to-it-ness" and I've only gone twice.
I applied for a job working at a gym so that at least I'll be forced to take that first step. We'll see how that goes.
I am also contemplating cheating and taking all kinds of diet pills. I never have and I know I probably shouldn't. I just hate working out. What can I say?
I tried making up BlackBerry PIN's so that I could have a PIN pal on BB messenger. I wanted a friend in a far away land but alas, nobody accepted me... I don't know if I would accept an anonymous person either but I want a new friend so world... here's my PIN 3040DBCB...
I'm bored now and you probably are too so... Au revoir good people.
Alright so did nobody see the humor in mylast post? While I was very serious, you must understand that I was very serious about MY JOKE! Should anybody else attempted an ambush wedding you will, undoubtedly, been deemed crazy. As for me, I think I have laid enough ground work for this to be expected. I really do think that I can get away with this and all involved will just have a good laugh.
But just in case I told him about Plan A- "marriage under the table". He laughed (phew!) and then said no because he wants to do his own vows. This clearly brings me straight into Plan B- Ambush Wedding, right? lol
I told him that I am moving onto Plan B but I cannot divulge the details to him. All he knows is that there is a Plan B. He also knows that I can't keep a secret from him, especially when I'm excited, but I am going to try so so hard because it won't be fun if I ruin it.
Step 1: find him some white swim shorts!
Here's hoping that I don't end up stranded in Barbados!
Is there a such thing as an ambush wedding? The ex/bf and I are going to Barbados in July for a wedding and here are my two plans:
Plan A: During the wedding, in which he will be a groomsman, I will mouth the vows to him and he can do the same. This way we can just piggy back on everybody's else's hard work. I call this plan "married under the table".
or
Plan B: I discussed with a friend of mine, who will get certified to marry people, to meet us on the beach the day after the wedding and perform what he will think is an impromptu wedding ceremony. I can this one "ambush wedding"
I can only be in white for the second plan. Neither one of these plans will be legally recognized so I'm not really that crazy but they do sound like fun right? RIGHT?
I got things to do but supposedly this lil' punk is sick with the flu... *sigh*
Every single song that comes on my ipod is he says it's his song. When I say, "Oh you know this song?", he says "NO" and looks at me like I'm the stupid one. Aaaaand not only does the 3 year old rap... He break dances but I can't seem to get that video up here.
Anyway, here's to me the best auntie in the world for letting this kid stay outta school for no good reason.
